<<To Be Read>>

Dear Kevin,

You have been a very good boy this year, except for that incident where you ran over that mother squirrel on your bicycle, a practically unblemished year! Santa is very happy with you….

However, Santa is still quite concerned about your MENTAL well being. Although you have been much more outgoing this year, this has been a particularly stressful year for you. Santa is still concerned that you might be keeping too many of your internal feelings bundled up inside and that some day you might "go off" like a cheap Iraqi chemical weapon.

So, Santa has found the perfect gift for you. It is the "stress-o-bye-bye". Trademark and patent are still pending. However, we have found a prototype for you to use given your dire need.

Santa believes that it should be completely self-explanatory. Good luck and Merry Christmas Kevin!