Fred,

With the Year 2000 approaching its nice to be a little prepared. Some of the necessities for survival are food, clothing, and shelter. As you take a look at the gifts before you, you can see that the wrapping paper is not Y2K compliant or maybe it’s just the person wrapping the gifts.

Please proceed to open the small cylinder shape gift. Inside you will find a nice supply of…? What did you think I was actually going to tell you! With every gift of this nature there is always another gift which compliments it.

[Pork & Beans]

So for your second gift proceed to open the large gift. Now, for this one you can either use it for its main purpose or just have a little ‘fun’ in the office before we move. I think there is enough for the whole space.

[Toilet Paper]

When Y2K hits we might find ourselves at the mercy of others for help and survival. This next gift will help in certain ways such as defending looters or others just trying to take what’s yours. Also, if you ever find yourself in a ‘dark’ situation don’t hesitate to use this device.

[Light Saber]

Merry Christmas!!!

Secret Santa