Well, what can I say? It's been quite a year, and frankly,
your Secret Santa was literally overwhelmed at the thought of
what to get you. Im sure others can sympathize with this
challenging dilemma. But after a bit of thought it was suddenly
obvious, so congratulations! You have been promoted to the rank of
Epitomy of Man!
(Creative spelling instituted as of last years award.)
All of Santas records (which, I should mention, are maintained
with the very same software that your company uses internally) indicate
that this is the first time ever you have received this prestigious
"Epitomy of Man" title. A few of my elves have assembled several
small gifts in your honor. Read the numbered entry before opening the
- Above all, the Epitomy of Man must look stylish. And that look, of course,
starts with the hair. Package #1 has a wide variety of hair care products for
your use. [Poster Paints]
- Beyond the hair, though, is the total image and in this day
and age that includes the vehicle one drives. Santa was somewhat saddened to
learn that yours unfortunately lacks the necessary "Ram Air"
ingredient, along with several other stylish accessories. Santa to the
rescue with package #2! [Toy Megaphone (fake Ram-Air), Children's Racing set]
- Though Santa knows that youre now as good as married, there are
followers of yours who arent so lucky as to have found an Alabama
woman with not one, but two small children. For them, perhaps you
could recommend the services of whats inside package #3?
[Baldur's Gate Dating Service, The Sims Dating Service]
- And then the final reward: a handsomely decorated t-shirt to
commemorate this honor. Santa does apologize for the slight mishap at
the printers the letters are all there but got slightly mixed.
Remember, though, its the thought that counts. Open package #4.
["O Pity Me of Man" T-shirt]
So enjoy, and Merry Christmas!
Your Secret Santa