DEAREST JENNIFER,

 

SANTA HAS TO ADMIT THAT THIS HAS BEEN AN EXTRAORDINARY YEAR, EVEN BY YOUR STANDARD. YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU DESIRE. HOWEVER, SANTA HAS A LIMITED BUDGET THIS YEAR SO HE HAS TO MAKE HIS BUCKS COUNT.

 

SANTA HAS HEARD ABOUT YOUR RECENT RUN-IN WITH THE DENTIST AND SANTA HAS GONE OUT OF HIS WAY TO FIND A WAY TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT AGAIN.

 

FIRST, FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR TOOTH, SANTA HAS LEARNED THAT YOU HAVE NOT REGISTERRED FOR MONITARY RECOMPENSE AS OF YET. WELL, MY GOOD FRIEND THE TOOTH FAIRY HAS HELPED MAKE THIS SIMPLE. ALL YOU NEED DO IS USE MY GOOD FRIENDS WEB SITE AND SEND MS. FAIRY A NOTE ABOUT YOUR RECENT LOSS. THIS IS THE ONLY PROPER WAY TO GREIVE FOR YOUR LOSS. PLEASE USE THE MACHINE IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM AND THE URL ON THE SECOND PAGE AND FILL OUT YOUR "NOTE" NOW...[The Online Tooth Fairy]

 

NOW THAT YOU HAVE REGISTERED FOR RECOMPENSE, SANTA ASKS YOU TO OPEN UP PACKAGE (1) AND SPRINKLE LIBERALLY UNDER YOUR PILLOW... [Candy Money]

 

NOW, THAT TAKES CARE OF THE REIMBURSEMENT FOR YOUR LOSS. HOWEVER, SANTA WANTS TO HELP MAKE SURE THAT THIS SORT OF INCIDENT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN. PLEASE OPEN PACKAGE NUMBER (2) AS PART OF YOUR NEW PREVENTION STRATEGY. [Giant Toothbrush]

 

NOW, SANTA HAS HELPED YOU DEAL WITH YOUR LOSS...

HE HAS COMPENSATED YOU FOR YOUR LOSS...

HE HAS EVEN PROVIDED YOU THE MEANS BY WHICH TO AVOID THIS SORT OF PROBLEM IN THE FUTURE.

BUT, THAT'S NOT ALL. NO, THAT'S NOT ALL.

 

YOU HAVE LOST A WISDOM TOOTH! THAT'S NOT JUST ANY TOOTH...

 

SANTA DID A QUICK REVIEW OF YOUR YEAR AND WAS QUITE CONCERNED WITH WHAT HE FOUND. AFTER ALL, EVEN WITH ALL YOUR WISDON TEETH YOU HAVE MANAGED TO:

 

1)      CONTINUE TO WORK FOR HOFFMAN ON GENOA

2)      JUMP OUT OF A PERFECTLY GOOD AIRPLANE

3)      TAKE UP COLLECTING TIVO PLAYERS THAT YOU CAN'T USE

4)      TAKE A "VACATION" TO ICELAND IN THE WINTER

 

THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR HAS SANTA VERY CONCERNED... THESE SORT OF ACTIVITIES WITH ALL YOUR WISDOM TEETH!!!

 

SO, SANTA HAS FOUND THE PERFECT LAST GIFT TO HELP COMPENSATE... OPEN PACKAGE (3) AND MERRY CHISTMAS!!!! [Dinosaur Tooth]
GIVEN YOUR RECENT BEHAVIOR...

 

SANTA THOUGHT HE BETTER REPLACE THAT WISDOM TOOTH, AND NOT WITH JUST ANY TOOTH. SANTA WENT OUT HIS WAY TO FIND THE LARGEST, OLDEST, AND WISEST TOOTH HE COULD. SANTA RECOMMENDS YOU HAVE IT DRILLED AND WEAR IT AS A NECLACE, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU BEGIN TO GET THESE ABNORMAL VACATION IMPULSES...