I have no idea who you are. I reached into the Secret Santa cup filled with names to draw, pulled out a slip of paper, opened it up, and it says "Justin". Who in the world is Justin? I don't know anyone named Justin. My first theory was that Lisa was playing a trick this year. She placed the name of an imaginary person into the Secret Santa cup just to see what would happen. The more I thought about this, the more convinced I became. Then I thought that perhaps Lisa was simply playing a trick on me, your poor Secret Santa, and filled a decoy cup full of imaginary names that only I would draw from. Lisa is that kind of evil, sinister receptionist, which is why I book my own travel now. I finally remembered that Lisa had opened the Secret Santa party to that other company that works in the ISX office.

So, I decided that perhaps if you are a real person and actually exist, you must work for that other company and Larry Lafferty. And you probably work with vanb as well. You would probably be better off not existing at all than working with those two boneheads, but such is life. I decided to get you a couple of presents that would make such a miserable existence more bearable. Gift #1 [Magna Doodle] will give you something to pass the time while sitting through their useless meetings. Gift #2 [WWF Goldberg Action Set] will help you be a little more assertive when you work with them face-to-face.

Have a merry Christmas (assuming you actually exist)

Secret Santa