We, your Secret Santas, have been watching you this past year. We know when you’ve been naughty and nice and all that. We feel that, although you have been very good (well, except for that one time. Yes, that one time. You know what I’m talking about. No, I’m not going to make you talk about it in front of all these people, but you ought to be ashamed), there is one area in which you have been sorely lacking. So, consider this year’s theme, “Gifts that make it easier to find your way in to the office.”
First, your Secret Santas know that you have had difficulty finding the office. So, open package 1 [MapQuest directions, Compass], and find the tools by which to find your way to the office… now, we just hope you know how to read them.
Also, to assist you in your navigation, we have provided package 2 [Atlanta map]. Just remember that, on maps in the northern hemisphere, north is up.
Second, we are aware that you have been having car difficulties. What did you do, enter it in a race or something? In any case, package 3 [Car Care stuff] will assist you, should your car decide to fail in its duty yet again.
Third, perhaps you are reluctant to come to work because of the… feng shui of your car. We have noted your offices, and doubt that the car is any different. In hopes of partially remedying this, open package 4 [Air Freshener]. While these may not aid in rearranging the items inside your car, perhaps their refreshing odor will encourage you.
Next, your Secret Santas knows how inseparable you two are….you work together, you car pool together, you lunch together, and you live together. Perhaps you feel that, in order to provide us at the office with time to correctly identify you, you should work at home. No more! Even though sometimes it hard to distinguish between you two, we, your Secret Santas, will assist you by giving you your very own “Identity” Open package 5 [There was deliberately NO package 5], and all will be revealed.
However, like Hansel and Gretel, we know that sometimes, even with all the possible advance planning we can provide you with, sometimes you will still become lost. In this eventuality, open package 6 [Bread Crumbs], and at least you’ll be able to find your way back to where you have been. Assuming the birds don’t come.
Finally, in case all else fails, we have prepared for you a contingency plan. Should your car fail, use this, and you will be able to make it in work. Open package 7 [Hot Wheels toy car].
So, now, we know that, should you not make it into the office, it is only your choice. No more talk of bunnies and underground bunkers!
Your Secret Wondersantas.