Dear
Atlanta Office,
No
doubt you were excited to hear about the office gift exchange, where you could
spread your warped view of Christmas gift giving to the other ISX offices.
That’s fine. Unfortunately for you, this is your present from the DC office. As
you know we’re practical folk, whose idea of appropriate Christmas presents
falls more in the realm of knitted sweaters and tea cozies. We’re afraid you’ll
just have to put up with a dose of practicality in our present.
Much
has been made about ISX core hours this year. There’s been a slight bit of
confusion over what precisely they are – is it a 9 am start time, or 10 am, for
example. After consulting our trusty employee handbooks the mystery was solved,
and we’ve created Present #1 to illustrate our findings. Open Present #1 now.
[Clock, with ISX Core Hours marked]
However,
as everyone at ISX knows, the Atlanta office is what we like to call ‘special’.
It’s not that you don’t have core hours. It’s simply that your idea of core
hours is slightly different from the established norm. Present #2 should help
you explain Atlanta Core Hours to others. Open Present #2 now.
[Clock, with Atlanta Core Hour marked]
Sometimes,
unfortunately, it becomes necessary to move your core hours more in line with
the ISX norm. Perhaps you have a morning telecon with someone who isn’t in
Hawaii. Or perhaps Scott is visiting for the day, and you need to convince him
that people actually work in your office. Whatever the reason, this last set of
presents should help you in your time of need. Everyone take one of the
remaining small presents to open now. We included a few extras as well because,
frankly, some of you people need all the help you can get.
[Individual alarm clocks for each Atlanta employee]
Well,
that’s it, and we hope you enjoyed your presents this year. Some of us are
already busily darning socks in anticipation of next year’s gift exchange, so
you can rest assured that we’ll find something else practical to give. But for
now, Merry Christmas from…
The
DC Office