As the youngest employee at ISX, Christmas is no doubt a very exciting
time of year for you. And since you've been especially good this year,
Santa has decided to pay you an extra visit. I've brought you not one,
not two, not three, but FOUR different presents. Oh boy!!!
(Each present is labelled on the front with its number.)
Present #1: Earlier this year you got to go on exciting plane trips
to different cities. Santa knows that it can sometimes get boring on
these trips, so I brought you some toys to play with along the way.
Open your first present now, and remember to share!
[Book: "Dumpy and his Pals", Activity Pad with Crayons]
Present #2: Boy, that sure was exciting! But on to present number two.
Santa heard that you like to play with the computer, so I got you an
exciting, yet educational, game to play. Hope you like trucks!
[Computer game: "Bob the Builder"]
Present #3: The next present is very small, so you'll have to look
closely for it. "Make believe" can be a fun game to play, especially when
you can pretend like you're someone older than you really are. Santa
has learned about a certain make believe person you like to pretend
to be. Hopefully this next present will make those "play pretend" times
a little more real. Remember, though, this is only a toy!
[Fake "Colin MacLeod" ID]
Present #4: Finally, the last present. As you might have noticed,
you're the youngest person at ISX. Why, there are people two, three,
even four decades older than you, in this office alone. If you were
to-- no, wait a second, bad start, let Santa try again with a new
Present #4: Just as every family has its youngest member, so too do
companies. But someday you'll grow older, and there will be people
15 or 20 years younger than you, too. If they were that young today
they'd be mere babies and--
Forget it, enough of this farce. The one and only purpose of this last
present is to put you in an embarassing situation that's ripe for a
photo opportunity. That's it. Pure and simple humiliation. Enough
of these charades, open the last damn present and remember, you
have to wear it. Rudolph says so.
[Baby stuff: Bonnet, Bib, Rattle, Pacifiers, Food]
Merry Christmas, etc., etc.