VAN B

Your Secret Santa has noticed a discrepancy between your behavior and how it is perceived that needs to be cleared up.

You take many trips, which would lead people to believe that you are fond of travel, however, after careful observation, your Secret Santa has realized that it is not the travel you enjoy, but a phenomenon called “SkyMiles”. Realizing that, your Secret Santa decided it would much simplify your pursuit of SkyMiles if you didn’t have to plan another pesky trip every time you got the urge to indulge in some SkyMile gathering.

After careful deliberation, your Secret Santa decided that, no matter where you go in your pursuit of SkyMiles, there will be one thing in common: an airport. Furthermore, if you never had to leave the airport, you would be racking up SkyMiles as efficiently as possible. So the logical solution was to find you a bunch of things to do at an airport. So, your Secret Santa got you a kit that will provide you with everything you need to be entertained at an airport, turning you into the first ever airport hobo.

[Gift wrapped in a towel] Rather than a suitcase, your airport hobo kit has been placed in a towel. This is important: no one should ever travel without a towel, as a towel can serve many purposes. Besides being dependant on your towel to carry your baggage, you can use it as a blanket. With airport security as it is, even leaving the airport for a hotel would drain more energy than you need to in your pursuit of SkyMiles. However, as long as you have your towel, you may rest for a few hours on the nearest convenient bench. If the airport is too bright, you might try a subway or train station, there are usually one of these connected with an airport.

Most people highly dislike being at airports, so your Secret Santa decided to help you see how fun airports could be. To start with, your Secret Santa has made you a game to help you wile away your time (open package labeled 1 [Airport Bingo]). This is a variation of an old travel game, however, it has been regeared to fit an airport. Rather than looking for things like “cows” or “trucks” that are found on most car trips, the game boards have items likely to be seen at airports. The idea is to see who can find all the things in a single row or column, or all the corners, etc, like bingo. Don’t blame your Secret Santa if the items seem a little repetitive, they’re doing their best to make airports interesting. You’re the one with the SkyMile fettish. . .

Your Secret Santa doesn’t expect this game to keep your interest for too long. Luckily, there is some business you can take care of while at the airport. Checking the internet or calling the airport can only provide limited information on the SkyMile program. When you are at the airport, you are at the source of the SkyMile system. If you really want to stay up-to-date on current SkyMile promotions (for example, making sure new members aren’t offered any promotions that a veteran Medallion Class customer like yourself should really be offered first), you are going to have to do a little reconnaissance (open package 2 [Disguise]). Now, if you talk to a SkyMile representative and feel they are holding back SkyMile promotions, you can slip into your handy disguise, and go back claiming to be a new customer, and make sure you got the full deal. If you think the mask isn’t enough and also want to cover your head, you could slip the towel over your head first and use the mask to anchor it. Never again will you miss out on a SkyMile promotion.

Even with all these activities to do, your Secret Santa is afraid that you will become airport-jaded and start seeing all airports as the same, tarnishing the pleasure you get from your SkyMile gathering. [Airport Checklist] To prevent this from happening, your Secret Santa has provided you with an airport checklist. This way, each time you go to a new airport, you can check it off, therefore feeling that you covered new ground. You will also be reminded that all of them, at least, have different three-letter codes. . .

Finally, your Secret Santa has a sure-fire way to ensure that you have something to do at the airport. Something else your Secret Santa has observed that you enjoy is explaining things. Anything will do, but some things are better than others (open package 3 [Towers of Hanoi, made of a 3-pronged fork and several sizes of beaded loops]). And there’s nothing you enjoy discussing more than the Towers of Hannoi. With this easily portable Towers of Hannoi, you can enlighten thousands of people (who have nowhere to go to escape) about the intricacies of the Towers of Hannoi.

Now you should be able to rack up your SkyMiles with a minimum of fuss or displeasure.