Dear Alicia

 

It has come to Santa’s attention that you’ve been having a number of car problems. Therefore, I’ve decided to give you something to help you along the way. While I don’t have a car, I can understand what it’s like. Let’s just say that reindeer aren’t always cooperative, and I’m up to my eyeballs in deer poop. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find straw up here at the North Pole?

[Book: ”Auto Repair for Dummies”]

 

In case the stress becomes too much, Santa has also included a few goodies. While I don’t condone substance abuse, I can understand it. I do hope that you can get some help for your problem though. The elves have assured me that this is Grade “A” stuff. They would know – I have to put them in rehab not long after Christmas every year.

[Black Pepper, Red Pepper, Razor Blades, Straws]

 

All in all, you’ve been a good girl. Keep it up, keep up the good work.

 

Merry Christmas,

 

Santa