Dear Alicia

 

It has come to Santaís attention that youíve been having a number of car problems. Therefore, Iíve decided to give you something to help you along the way. While I donít have a car, I can understand what itís like. Letís just say that reindeer arenít always cooperative, and Iím up to my eyeballs in deer poop. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find straw up here at the North Pole?

[Book: ĒAuto Repair for DummiesĒ]

 

In case the stress becomes too much, Santa has also included a few goodies. While I donít condone substance abuse, I can understand it. I do hope that you can get some help for your problem though. The elves have assured me that this is Grade ďAĒ stuff. They would know Ė I have to put them in rehab not long after Christmas every year.

[Black Pepper, Red Pepper, Razor Blades, Straws]

 

All in all, youíve been a good girl. Keep it up, keep up the good work.

 

Merry Christmas,

 

Santa