You’ve been flying under the radar at ISX this year, especially with so many...not-so-nice…co-workers. But I’ve been tracking your movements whenever I can spare an eye.
You first major task this year was to manage the build out. In honor of such, I would have a foreman’s hat for you, but my elves build toys for kids, so no construction hats were available. (Open gift #1.[Helmet]) With the Segway available to the public (well, soon), the need for safety has gone up. But with so many Segways, I ran out of adult models of helmets. Hope the smaller one works.
Your next hurdle was dealing with Greg and his volatile attitude. I would provide an Alabama-English dictionary, but, instead, I’ve given a peek into what his version of Windows XP looks like, since this is a technical office and all (open gift #2 [Winders Alabama Edition] ).
You are also very matronly, making sure the office is in order. An exceptional trait. I sure know that the engineers need cleaning up after themselves. Here is a short guide for returning things to offices.
Doug = (open gift #3 [Legos] ) the “biggest” of big kids drops Legos behind (he doesn’t have one of the wife things at the office)
Jimmie = (open gift #4 [Pluto Pez Dispenser] ) Pluto toys
Trayton = (open gift #5 [Rattle] ) “our little Trayton” is growing up and trying to leave behind his life as a baby, so you might find rattles and pacifiers lying around
Vanb = knex stress reliever widgets
Greg = weapons that he hurls around pretending a certain DARPA PM is the target
Sherry = spreadsheets of numbers
Mark = nothing…he’s never here
Mike = (open gift #5 [Toy Motorcycle] ) motorcycle toys and repair tools
Angelo = juggling pins
Alicia = knocked over bottles of sake (or any alcohol)
Kevin = dropped toothpaste and boxes of dental floss
Another translation issue you might wonder about is vanb talking to some “dude” as you enter and exit his office. I don’t know who this “dude” is, but (open gift #6 [Dude Chips] ), but I found his chips. Perhaps vanb eats these chips and is immersed in “dudeness”.
My final piece of advice is to learn the roads of Atlanta. We don’t need any fiascos like last year’s Christmas.